I am departing from my usual themes of politics and economics to write about our grandchildren. This will provide you with a little window to understand who I am and who I have become as I go through the journey of life.
Between my wife and I, in our modern blended family, we have 10 grandchildren – 9 boys and one girl. Having so many male grandchildren would have made me a powerful man in Mughal times in India and it is still considered a big plus if you are from any Asian culture. As for us, the gender of a child makes very little difference. All our children – 4 girls and 2 boys between us – have grown up to be independent and strong individuals and we consider ourselves very fortunate. However, this blog is about our grandchildren.
Our grandchildren range in age from 9 months to 21 years. They are a mix of Bangladeshi, Swedish, Arab (Moroccan), Irish, Indian and Italian in ethnicity — truly children of the American melting pot! All our children went away to school and now settled in Los Angeles, greater Chicago, Toronto, and Red Wood City, California. COVID-19 has ended most occasions for traveling and meeting for the past year. Even though today we have the advantages of skyping, zoom, and facetime, there is nothing like being together physically. We miss the regular visits with our children and grandchildren.
Our grandchildren bring me all the joy and none of the challenges of raising children. Each one of the children is “cut” from a different cloth and brings their uniqueness to our lives. They do not care about our careers or what we have achieved, we are just “Dada” and “Nana” –native terms clearly defining our relationship. Some even call us by our names —something which would be close to heresy during our growing up years.
Each one of the grandchildren is special to us and we enjoy and cherish our interactions and moments with them. This is especially true in this age of COVID-19 pandemic. Our meetings are limited, choreographed with social distancing and masks. Hugs are still to be approved by my pediatrician daughter.
We do realize how quickly today becomes yesterday and I am in the final innings of my life… so we look forward to every minute of our times together.
Joseph (21) is following the tradition of his Swedish father and grandfather, studying and working towards a career in Finance. We will not be surprised if he too someday becomes an equity partner in an accounting or consulting firm. In our conversations, we discuss his choice of college courses and his work assignments. We try hard to stay away from giving unsolicited advice. I do appreciate the fact that he considers my insights still relevant or maybe he is just being polite.
Eric (19), unlike his older brother Joseph, is exploring his strengths and career options. We are amazed by his knowledge of cars and we may even hire him as a consultant to help us choose our next car. His ready smile is disarming, and he will surely break many hearts because there is only one Eric.
Faysal (13) is my namesake even though our names are spelled differently. His personality is the opposite of mine – he is quiet, thoughtful, and cautious. Unlike most teenagers, he rarely asks for anything. He is technologically savvy and is trying to figure out his path in life. There is something inherently endearing about him and that cannot be quantified.
Liyana (11) knows she is the only girl and that automatically makes her special. With her infectious charm, she can get anything from anyone. She is animated, talented, and always fun to converse with.
Henry (8) is a cellist and a reluctant ice hockey player who manhandles his younger sibling in the ice rink. When I asked him about this, he described his pushing and shoving as “normal” in ice hockey. He is focused and driven, and it will be fun to see whose path, between his physician mother and attorney father, Henry follows.
Aidan (6) is a “superhero” fan who likes to dress up as one. He loves puzzles, painting and observes everything carefully. When he was half his age, he would look up and spot the planes lined up for landing at O’Hare airport even if a plane were thousands of feet up in the air and in a remote part of the sky. He is refreshingly honest and once undiplomatically told me that he did not like the birthday present I had bought for him. I had taken hours selecting a model second-world warplane, but it was something that I liked –on reflection, that was a clear message driven home unknowingly by Aidan. Now I always try to think from the point of view of the recipient of a gift, rather than me. Lesson learned.
Teddy (5) is all personality who looks very Irish with his red air, speaks with his hands like Italians, and loves Bangladeshi food more than any Bangladeshi I know. His words – “Nana, it is ok if the food is hot and spicy, all I need is some aqua.” He makes fun of my accent and my love for clothes and shoes.
Rhys (4) is a strong personality who demands and gets attention. He is singularly focused and shows his affections through hugs rather than words. Like every one of the grandchildren, Rhys has his own unique style and it is a bit difficult to predict what will he grow up to be. He has time. He is only four.
Charlie (3) makes sure that he is not forgotten as the third child in his family. He makes sure he is in the middle of all activities and does not miss anything. He will play and socialize with us only for a limited amount of time. Occasionally, he will disappear and then bring our coats – hinting that it was time for us to leave. He is very affectionate and caring.
The youngest Patrick (9 months) enjoys rice and chicken curry even though he does not have a single tooth. He recognizes everyone, crawling everywhere, and participates in every conversation with grunts and unique sounds. He has three older brothers ahead of him, but we have no doubts that he will hold his own.
Yes, we have become like all other grandparents telling our grandchildren’s stories or showing their pictures. In many ways, they are all little pieces of us but their own individual selves as well. They too have embarked on their own journeys as I come near the end of mine. In every way, they warm our hearts, bring smiles to our faces, and unknowingly reassure us that life continues through their footsteps in this world. Life and love come together in the form of grandchildren. The “GRAND” part of grandchildren can only be felt, so wait your turn unless you are already a grandparent.
AUTHOR: Faisal M. Rahman, Founding Dean and Professor, Saint Xavier University, Chicago, IL 60655, USA. Dr. Rahman is also CEO/President of APAC group of healthcare companies.
Nicely said. They certainly bring lots of joy in our lives. They love to hear my childhood stories and Bengali fairytales…
I taught them how to play Carrom, Ludo and now searching for Kori. Can’t find the right ones! I may have to get it from Bangladesh. You should teach the boys how to play marble, I meant Bangladeshi style, before they consume themselves into video games. My oldest granddaughter Sehra will be 12 next month, is very much interested in Bengali culture. Interviewed me, as part of her school project about my life in USA as an immigrant. Culture shock, learning the language, food, weather, making new friends and still calling Bangladesh my home. They are like the icing on the cake!